Sunday, June 06, 2004

Bad scissors!

Um... oops. By and large, I've had long hair for most of my adult life. Well, after 15 months of no haircuts (except for the time I took my grandpa's straight razor and hacked off some errant chunks), I cut my hair last night. Whacked is more like it.

Imagine this scene: I rolled out of bed this morning around 9:30, feeling somewhat hungover, and did the usual run-to-the-bathroom. Whereupon... I found about two inches of hair all over my bathroom floor. Then I looked in the mirror, and, well... I couldn't stop laughing.

Now I'm wondering what my options are. I can't glue it back on. I can't really cut any more off. Do I shave my head and look like Marco? Do I go to Wal-Mart and buy a Flo-be? Good lord. I think the only thing I should do right now is liberate the 35 garden plants that have been residing in my bathtub for the past week, sweat out some of the nasty toxins in my body, and meditate on the fact that I should not own scissors. Bad scissors.

The world loves a shiny head. People will want to rub's a good way to meet strangers! Note to Angie: DO NOT use the straight razor!!!
Doubtless it is cute. I advise getting damage repair by a professional hairstylist. Exactly how drunk were you, anyway?
Marco... I no want shiny head... Besides, I really don't need to meet strangers (everyone I meet is strange). And under no circumstance would I want someone rubbing my head. Too close to the ears, y'know. And, incidentally, I did a fiiiine job with that straight razor. Next time you come to town, I'll shave yer noggin with it for you.

Justin... oddly enough, everyone I saw yesterday (and even my boss this morning) thinks my hair is cute. Guess I did an ok job. Funny, though, being left handed, I used my right hand to cut my hair.

Just how drunk was I? Well, gee. It's hard to be objective about it, but let's say if my usual state of being lit up is a BBQ gone astray, my guess is that on Saturday night I more closely resembled a funeral pyre. Jason and Mimi can vouch for that, having had the unfortunate luck of babysitting my sorry ass.

And, after three hours of gardening yesterday (FORTY-ONE PLANTS, final tally... until I get more, that is), I am now bright red. Cars are jealous of the shiny hue that is me.
Heh heh...I touched your ears once...and you didn't even bite me! Still don't understand your ear thing though...probably never will...whatever. But FYI...close to the ears or not, you don't know what you're missin' out on. A good head rub is one of the better things in life!!! How's this, next time I'm in town you can most definitely give me a good rub down...after that, I'll consider the shave. Would it be too much to ask you to use your left hand though? I usually use my right...always wondered if it works the same with the left?
Marco, just what kind of rub-down are you talking about?! For shame, young man!

Oh, Kerry called me on Saturday and she 'n the monkey are coming up sometime this weekend, I think. I'll let you know when I hear more (or have you talked to Steve?)
Listen here little girl...GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!! If I were lookin' for that other kind of rub you think I'd be so subtle?!? You certainly wouldn't have to ask to be'd know!!! But now isn't the time to ask...too many weirdoes and bitches hanging on your every word. I'm shy ya know...
You're the biggest weirdo I know, Marco. I mean that!

And Mandy, where o where art thou? Don't stop commenting because my lil' southern friend hasn't developed any manners yet.

Anyhoo, maybe tomorrow I'll have something interesting to talk about. My folks are in town taking care of the Did and the Goat (my niece and nephew) whilst my sis and her hubby went out of town so they could get some sleep (long story). I'm goin' over for dinner tonight, and as always, something bozo happens. Mom + Coors = ZANY. Luckily, when it gets too weird, I can beg off with "I have to go home and walk the dog." I take that as a compliment or an insult?!?
Ha! See, I'm a latent psychic.

...Psycic? Spychick? Hmmm...I may never know the true spelling.
You can always get a hair weave. LOL
Havent cut my hair drunk (yet) but I did have a complete circle fall out when I was under a lot of stress once. Pretty horrible for a girl. I just kept my hair up in a clip until the bald spot grew back.
Heh heh... everyone thinks I paid a lot o' moola fer the hack job, including me mum. Cracks me up. And then I get to say, "Naw... I just got drunk the other night and gave meself a summer dooooo." I love that. How vain I am.
vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
Heh heh... yeah, you know me, the fashion goddess that I am...
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