Thursday, June 03, 2004

Things Gus has chewed on, destroyed or otherwise eaten

1. Batteries. He gets a charge out of 'em.
2. A new tube of anchovy paste. Ugh... fartapukey.
3. A box of panty liners. (What da dilly yo?)
4. Numerous rolls of toilet paper (his favorite).
5. Hair ties, barrettes, hair brushes, etc. (is it any wonder I'm not well-groomed?)
6. My new sofa. This about killed me... and ended his life.
7. A new bottle of canola oil. Three hours to clean up...
8. Felix and Rufus, my cats. They DO NOT like Gus.
9. My feet... and the feet of countless others.
10. Cell phones. He likes to drop them in coffee, too.
11. Lighters. Another favorite. Sometimes he'll eat cigs, too.
12. Beer cans. Good to the last drop.
13. Books ("The Gambler" by Dostoevsky and a pug training guide).
14. A CD... something by the Grateful Dead, so it was ok.
15. My VHS copy of "Ghost Dog". Bad dog, Mr. Chadwick.
16. Basically anything that is anywhere near his gaping maw.

One must be very careful what one leaves lying around at my house. Plus, he has a drinking problem and has no qualms about drinking out of your glass of wine, vodka, etc. He's even stolen bottles of beer off the table. ('Member that one, Marco?)

Bad football...
Yeah... the little guy has his moments. Most of them not exactly shining examples of pugalicious integrity, but moments, nonetheless.
Poor ol' Ajax used his tail to sweep drinks off the coffee table so he could lap them up off the floor. He discovered if he made it look like an accident he could get away with steeling beers. Clever mutt, it only worked for a short time with us but he often pulled this trick on unsuspecting company.

In the month and a half that Brodie has been with us we have gone through more toilet paper than we would normally use in 6 months. One silk shirt no longer has buttons and the rag rug that was in the bathroom is now in the landfill.

This weekend I plan to build my prototype dog-proof-litterbox.
Ajax was a smart dog... knew how to cover his ass. Unfortunately, with the curled tail, Gus isn't very adept at either 'sweeping' with his tail OR covering his ass. He's my little poopchute...

But what is it about TP that dogs love it so much? I think they really must get off being able to shred something that easily. Do you think they're dreaming of cats?

And I can't wait to see this catpoo prototype. Then, when you're done with that, will you help me (ie: you do it) hang my ceiling pot rack? I'll buy you yummy Summit ales afterward... ( :

Yes, I'm shameless..
Does the canola oil have anything to do with I.'s bottle of olive oil that got left behind, or maybe her silicone chew toy?
Just to clarify here, Pooter: Ingy used MY bottle of EXTRA VIRGIN olive oil... god forbid the bitch should pay for her own lubricants while hustling sleazeballs OR use her own damn apartment for these trysts. And I sure hope my dog doesn't have one thing in common with that tramp. **I shudder to think**
I was thinking of a puppy for my impending birthday but your chew list has stopped me...completely....gee, some of my kids have not been that expensive or messy!
Despite all of the things Gus has destroyed, I still love him. Besides, if you've got kids, you're broken in (so to speak). Get a puppy! My friends Mark and Victor got a puppy from the animal shelter, and he's the most mellow, sweet little pup.
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