Monday, November 01, 2004

Help meee, I think I'm fallin'...

Just kidding.

Ok, so the blogdrool is eating up more and more time. I feel *discombobulated* for spending so much time reading and not writing.

So here goes: an incomplete history of shit no one really needs (or wants) to know about me... subtitled "The Lazy Girl's Post to Appease the Lack of Masses":

1. I hate lima beans. And liver. But once a year, I like a little brauschweiger. Just keep that damn plakhi away from me.
2. My dad and I got into an argument on Christmas day last year. I'm not going home this year.
2a. Disclaimer: I love my dad. He's difficult, though...
3. I'm a bitch and everybody knows it. Yet I still manage to retain the friendships of some daaamn incredible people.
4. I'm a neatnik. But I hate to dust and won't do it until someone has an asthmatic attack whilst in my slovenly abode... where EVERYTHING HAS ITS OWN PLACE.
5. My dog is good. But he's so bad. My cats are bad. But they're so good.
6. My love life is pathetic. Except when it's not. Like this morning...
7. Politics piss me off.
8. I find humor and wisdom in cartoons.
9. Vodka is my friend and my enemy.
10. I have a stack (or three) of books on my nightstand that ALL clamor for attention. I'm fickle.
11. The "Christian Children's Fund" commercials make me retch... especially with that fat guy.
12. The Viking can pick me up and put me on his damn shoulders if he wants to... I'm impressed.
13. I'm not a small person. If I date a guy, his thighs have to be bigger than mine. And if your biceps are bigger than my thighs, that's just a bonus.
14. I don't like assholes, dumbshits or cunts. I've dated them all. (And, just to clarify, men can be cunts.)
15. I like being alone. A lot. But my greatest fear is being alone for the rest of my life.
16. I'm a freak for crossword puzzles. NYTimes Sundays and Thursdays are my favorites.
17. When in doubt, I cook. And then eat. It really sucks when that gets turned around.
18. My friend Mark is going to teach me how to bake. As much as I love to cook... I DO NOT know how to BAKE.
19. I can be... completely... UNforGIVING... Please don't ever anger me.
20. I'm fair. Except when you trample on my heart. Then, you might as well tuck tail and keep the fuck away from me.
21. I don't EVER get enough sleep. It's not as bad as Rob, but it's still not enough.
22. I wish everyone in Bloggyville would get along.
23. I've just told you 22 things about myself, but you still don't know me any better...

Good night.

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