Friday, December 17, 2004

Ze ant sirs to yer queshtuns

Kristin asks: What is one of your goals for 2005? To be happy. Oh, and to join another gym and get back to working out... which will lead to Cooter being a lean mean snark machine yet again. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you choose? I'd like to spend several years of traveling before I decide. In the meantime, my head is as good a place as any. What is your biggest regret in life? I'd like to say I have no regrets (and for the most part that's true), but if I had to choose, it would be not taking a foreign language in high school and, therefore, having to take four semesters of it in college.

Michael asks: What superpower would you have? Easy! I'd fly! Like an eagle! To the sea! Fly like an eagle! Let my spirit carry me! I want to fly like an eagle! Till I'm free! What's the greatest TV show ever? This one's kinda hard to answer... 1/2-hour sitcoms? I'd go for 'Frasier', 'The Simpsons', 'Barney Miller' or 'M*A*S*H'. Hour-longs? 'Northern Exposure', 'Star Trek: The Next Generation', 'Desperate Housewives' or 'Boston Legal'. (I evidently cannot make up my mind...) What country would you like to visit that you haven't been to? I would love to go to Egypt and satisfy all or some of my archaeological curiousities.

Jay asks: Which blogger do you love the most, besides me? Cooter...duh...! Which blogger irritates the hell out of you, besides me? Geez, Jay... NO ONE irritates me except for you. Then again, there's always the scapegoat, Todd Vodka. If you could meet any blogger in bloggerville, who would it be, besides me? Jack. I really want to see what he looks like. I'd even take a cell phone picture of him and discreetly share... ok. No, I would not. My cell phone is not equipped to take pictures. Camera? What's that?

BEEz asks: Are they real? Yes, and they're hiding under your bed. What is your favorite color? Hey, if you're gettin' me a Christmas sweater, my favorite color is GREEN!!! What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? Hashing out the classic question with Strouhal numbers and simplified flight waveforms, we can predict the airspeed using a published formula. By inverting the Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA). We now need only plug in the numbers:
U ≈ 3fA

f ≈ 15 (beats per second)
A ≈ 0.22 (meters per beat)
U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9
... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is 10 meters per second. Problem solved, question answered.

Defiant Heart asks: What's your favorite movie? It's impossible to have ONE, but some of my favorites are 'Bladerunner', 'The Princess Bride', 'When Harry Met Sally' (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), 'Dead Man', 'Angel Heart', 'The Thin Man' and 'Bad Santa'. What is your dream job? To be fiction editor for a small but successful publishing firm. If you were to be stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life and could only take one person with you, past or present, living or dead, who would it be? Bela Lugosi. Or maybe Ralph Fiennes... *drool*

Julie asks: What do you want to be when you grow up? An old woman with a heart full of happy memories. Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, for sure. Food, drink, food... What was your favorite toy when you were little? It was this little stuffed animal, a rabbit. The fabric that made up his body is that wacky 60's psychadelic floral, he has (had, actually) felt ears, metal button eyes and a little felt nose (which I promptly chewed off). He also had a vest and a pair of knickers, but they got lost. His name is Gnash (odd, considering I was munchin' on HIM all the time) and I still have him. 'Course his stuffing has since turned to crouton consistency and he's pretty hideous to look at... but I still love him all the same.

Catt asks: If something happened to the Poog (heaven forbid!) would you get another pug puppy? I'm not sure I could ever 'replace' Gus aka Mr. Chadwick, but if I had to do it all over again, I'm damn happy to have gotten a pug. What do you want for Christmas - your ideal gift? World peace... and a diamond tiara. When are we going to NOLA? How 'bout as soon as possible so I can get out of this godforsaken frozen hole? Actualmente, I think Feb.-March sounds ideal.

Esther asks: Which is your favourite holiday? It will always be Thanksgiving. As a kid, did you ever dream of becoming a ... ? Certified public accountant? Nope. Not even once. Do you play a musical instrument? Oh God no. And not for lack of trying, either.

El Sid asks: Do you like it? Oh yes, indeedy I do! Would you share it with a friend? No! It's mine... ALL mine!!! How about it, then? Whatchoo talkin' 'bout? Hey! Get yer piddy paws offa my... dammit, Sid. You just got yer chocolate in my peanut butter!

Restless Angel asks: Favorite comic strip ever? Calvin and Hobbes!! Favorite music group of all time? The Pretenders. Your top three favorite movies of the year? Um, this is embarrassing, but I don't think I've BEEN to three movies this year. I saw one of those Lord of the Rings movies. That was ok. I saw 'Gothika', but can't remember if it was this year or last year that I saw it, but it made me scream like a little girl. Oh! I saw 'Lost in Translation' and loved it!!

Inanna asks: If Halloween was tomorrow and you were 8 years old, what would you dress up like? I will steal this idea from Jesse M.'s son: I would get all sorts of those sticky name tags, write all sorts of different monikers on them, and go as... *drum roll*... AN IDENTITY CRISIS!! (He thought this one up on his own!) Most memorable gift? My first dog, Tuddles. Would you prefer burial or cremation upon death? (Sorry.. not very in tune with the holidaze now is it?) Cremation, hands down. I'm claustrophobic and will likely take that with me into the afterlife, so gettin' stuck in a box in the ground is OUT.

Kristen asks: What qualities of you as a child do you want to restore and what ones are you happy about being gone? I'd love to restore the intensity and creativity I had as a kid, but I'm damn happy to not be as withdrawn. Describe your ideal, realistically achievable dream for yourself. Being with The One. What are you doing right now to get there? Not a damn thing... I don't think you can go out and search for it. When he comes along, I just hope I'm not too dense to figure it out. What fills your soul? Kindness towards others. What depletes it? Pettiness.

Thanks for playing one and all! And that, me pretties, is all she wrote.

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