Sunday, May 16, 2004

Another embarrassing story

So many to choose from... but today I've decided to tell you one of the many stories of my innate gracelessness. Onced upon a time when I was just a silly little thang, I was engaged to a boy who didn't appreciate the fullness of my wonderfullness. So, we broke up. It absolutely shattered me. But one day I decided to show him what he was missing out on. I went to an expensive boutique here in town, bought myself one of the most flattering outfits I could find (I might still be paying this thing off and I haven't fit into it for YEARS), and went home to doll up. Damn, I looked hot! So, this guy worked downtown at a place on the ped mall that had huge windows overlooking the whole area. Here I am strolling leisurely by his place of business in my hot bitch outfit, and decide to bound gracefully (like a gazelle, no less) down the very shallow steps of said ped mall directly in front of his place of business. Well, it was a windy day. And did I mention that my hot bitch outfit was comprised of a low-cut, form-fitting-with-a-flare, sleeveless number and elephant pants? Once again, did I mention that it was windy? As I was 'bounding', my left foot got caught up in my right pant leg, and I went full goose bozo sprawling toward a bed of daisies. You know how when you trip and you're just propelled forward by the sheer force of your clutziness? Well, my push-up bra pushed up about an acre of daisies. I couldn't do anything for a full two minutes other than just lie face down in this flower bed and pretend to myself that I was having a bad dream. Unfortunately, a really good lookin' guy gave me a very real hand up, all the while laughing his ass off as I picked earth out of my nose, my bra, my hair.. and then I looked over to the window where my ex-fiance was standing, also laughing. Moral of the story? NEVER try to be something you're not. I will never in my life try to be graceful again; it just doesn't wear well on me...

// posted by Me @ <>
Comments:
Wearing a push-up bra? You tart!
# posted by Blogger Reuben Reviewer : 10:30 AM
 
Even if it didn't have anything to push up... sigh.
# posted by Blogger Me : 11:23 AM
 
Nah, it's still lurking in my closet somewhere... just waiting for me to find it and get all depressed that I'm no longer that svelte.
# posted by Blogger Me : 12:24 PM
 
Silly rabbit…elephants aren’t graceful! Nothing gazelle-like about them…but zebras on the other hand are a completely different story! Hope you and your push up bra full of daisies are having a wonderful day.

How was the chicken?

Well I best keep my mouth shut or something bad will happen…stupid karma. Remember that discussion about quarters? Well the price of said beer went up by 1 quarter yesterday…ugh!!! Anyways…I sure hope I don’t meet a supermodel and live happily ever after today. I’ll say it again…there’s NO way I’ll meet a supermodel and live happily ever after today. Did whatever god who is trying to ruin my life hear that???

See…I’m no blog stocker. I’ve posted now. So pffffft…
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 9:10 AM
 
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